Whispers of Hope

Today I begin a new journey, one in which I hope will bless and inspire you along the way. I will be sharing on the topic of hope, a four letter word that can throw someone into a tailspin without it, or lift one to new heights with it.

Catherine Marshall says, "God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope." I must completely agree, and by the end of this interactive course, I trust you will too.

Because God cares about what you go through in life, He also cares about the most intricate things that shake you, rock you and sometimes cause you to fall. Your faith may be tested in ways you never thought possible. Your beliefs though strong and sure, may be questioned in ways that could cause you to doubt them. Your very life could be threatened because of your belief in God and faith in Jesus Christ. Yet, with hope, no matter how dark the journey gets, how fatal the threats seem or how hard you fall, hope can carry you on the wings of an eagle flying high above the clouds.

Living in the valley of the sun in beautiful Phoenix Arizona, I am reminded that as long as we stay connected to the Son, Jesus, however cold, wet, dreary and dark the skies get when it rains, the sunshine will always reappear to warm our freezing body, dry our drenched hair and brighten the heavens above us chasing out all signs of despair, hopelessness, disappointment or sorrow. Because Jesus is our hope, with Him, all things are possible, Philippians 4:13.

Whispers of hope radiate from the mouth of God and Jesus lovingly picks us up out of the mire and carries us to safety once again. He is our night and shining armor, our King of Kings and Lord of Lords, our rescuer, our guide, the One in Whom we can always trust.

Are you in a valley of trouble where you so desperately seek a door of hope? Join me for the next several weeks in rebuilding your faith, deepening your trust and being filled with the hope that can take you from the valley of trouble through the door of hope on an exciting new journey.

The Road Least Traveled

In the kingdom there are many different roads we can choose as we navigate through the paths of life. One thing is for sure, if we take any other road other than the one in which God has destined us to journey upon, surely our road will be rockier, more dangerous and take more time to get where we are going. God has given us the perfect road map if we will but only read the directions and follow His lead.

Proverbs 14:12 says, "There is a way which seems right to man, but its end is the way of death."

I am reminded of so many times I have taken what I thought were short cuts that turned out to be long maneuvers that lengthened the distance to get to my destination and caused my trip to be uncomfortable and wasteful. Paths that lead me away from temptations and struggles are meant to protect me, guide me and enrich my journey. Those which are there to deter me onto paths that are dark, sinful and painstaking I would do best to avoid and ignore.

Proverbs 3:5-6 states, "Trust in the Lord and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge the Lord and He will direct my paths." Simply stated, if I choose on my own to take an alternate route and stray away from the ultimate map, I can only expect to encounter harsh road conditions, a lengthy journey and trials along the way.

When I embark upon troubles I had not planned for, I can't blame anyone but myself for strolling off the path meant to lead me safely to my destination. When I create my own road map of life and navigate myself, it is then I need to realize taking the wrong turns along my trip could lead me off the side of a mountain, against an immovable wall of rock or worse, out of the will of my heavenly Father. Trusting in my own feeble abilities is as useful as being dropped off at night in the middle of the wilderness without a compass to lead me to safety.

Taking the road least traveled and following Jesus' lead will allow the one who created the path to give me the revelation I need to travel the path best chosen for me and avoid certain eternal death. What will you do? Follow the path that safely leads you to your destination or make your own road map and discover dangerous corners at every turn, ultimately leading to an untimely death. The choice is yours...

Living a Victorious Life

I attend one of the most on fire, radical life-changing, uplifting the spirit and soothing the soul churches anyone could ever hope to go to and yesterday was one of the MOST endearing services I have been to.

The topic was a prayer model to follow, the chosen lead scripture was Matthew 11:28, ironically the same exact one that a sweet adopted daughter of mine gave me just this past week. The concept, A.C.T.S.

Pastor Dan was explaining how we all find ways to escape our greatest struggles, failures and obsessions. God instructs us to come to Him because only He can give us rest, true rest. And what do we do, we go to everything else for a fake calm before the next storm of life blindsides us. We turn to other people to make us happy, shopping to anesthetize us to the realization we don't have it all, to substances for numbing against the pain, to busy-ness so that we don't have to face rejection, to job security so we don't have to trust a Being we cannot grasp a hold of with our human hands, and even to denial so we won't believe we need God.

What's up with us frail humans? We think we have it altogether when our lives are falling apart. When we become desperate, it is then we might finally turn to our loving Father and beg for His help. Pastor Dan likened this to his daughter who calls out to Him for a hug and eventual popsicle, being perfectly content with the popsicle. I liken it to partying our lives away and when we get caught up in our troubles it is then we need bailed out; now God is there to help us with open arms and a smile on His face. In a way this may be true as He says He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), but what God desires of His children and those who have not yet accepted Him, is for us to come to Him anytime, every time, all the time. With whatever spoils we have to lay at his feet, He can turn them into precious gems of infinite value, if we will only come....as we are.

The model of A.C.T.S. is a wonderful foundation we should all adopt on a daily basis. One in which will bring glory to God, support for our overburdened souls, strength in our spirits and rest for our weary bodies and minds. God expanded on this concept with me and made it quite simple.

A- adoration; adoration for our God, adoring Him above everything and everyone else in our life

C- confession; confession to our Lord; confessing those things we say, do and think that are displeasing to God

T- thanksgiving; thanksgiving for Jesus Christ; always being thankful for the One Who gave us eternal life

S- supplication; supplication from on high; receiving our daily supply of what we need from almighty God, precious Jesus and the ever comforting Holy Spirit

Wow! Concepts to change my life, give me strength, draw me closer to Jesus, provide rest for my body, mind and soul, help me grow in the ways of the Lord, give me hope, support others, pray with power, share the love of Jesus with all who cross my path, be humble before my Lord, loosen all power the enemy could have over me, and to give me abundant life on this earth.

Okay, am I missing something here. Hmmmm, turn to imperfect people for help or trust a most perfect God; spend money on things that will perish one day or savor time with someone Who can provide me with what I truly need not want; use and abuse substances that will alter my thought processes or remember God says I have a sound mind and He can heal my pain; remain too busy to hear from God or seek His plans and purposes for me to further His kingdom and glorify Him; find my security in a job that I can lose at any given moment or have my security in the Creator of all heaven and earth; believe in myself and deny I even have issues at all or know Jesus is worth believing in and trusting for every detail of my life, let's see which do I chose to live by?

HA! Who are we actually kidding?! When the world says, "Look to yourself", know that God says He is always near and waiting with open arms for you to rest in His care, His love, His peace, His salvation, His support, His protection, His comfort, His knowledge, His grace and mercy.



* Supporting scriptures are listed below to look up and concentrate on, contemplate their meanings and apply to your life. Believe and be blessed!


Adoration: I Chronicles 29:10-13, 29:20
Confession: I John 1:9, Psalm 32:1-5, James 5:16
Thanksgiving: Psalm 13:5-6, 69:30, 95:2, Philippians 4:6-7
Supplication: Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6:8, 7:7-11, I John 5:14-15, Ephesians 3:20-21

* To take part online in the wonderful service I commented on, go to
www.pureheart.org and listen to Sunday August 1st service under the column Items of Interest, Sermon downloads and sit back with a cup of coffee, tea or bottled water and enter into rest, rest that will change your life.

Restoration and Wholeness

Today, I am finishing my article for The Christian Journal in Oregon. The topic is Restoration. Contemplating this topic makes me think of how God restores a hundred fold to those whom satan has taken from. What great love is that? Yet, how much of our time do we really give the Lord? When do we stop to hear His voice? Why is it we are often too busy to slow down for Him? What must we change today that will lead us closer to Him; closer to the One Who misses His time with us? What will it take? Will it take our losing those we love, things we have worked for, friendships we have cultivated or our own self dignity?

The definition of restoration is the act of restoring or state of being restored, as to a former or original condition, place, etc.; the replacement or giving back of something lost, stolen.

Have you experienced being stolen from, ripped off, been deceived or lied to? Then you know the importance of being restored. Health can be restored, relationships healed, items returned and our character brought to light in the presence of God. Restoration is as important as is justice and fairness. Restoration is the whole reason God sent His son, Jesus to die for us. We need restored back unto our God. Someone needed to bridge the gap and Jesus chose to take our place in a sin-filled world with consequences beyond our greatest imaginations awaiting us.

We are living in a world where spiritual acceleration is at every corner. Everywhere we turn is evidence that our time on earth is very limited. There is no more time to choose where we want God to have a place in our lives. Jesus is in the business of restoring lives back to Himself, between ourselves and amongst those who are lost and in need of Christ to save them from themselves. John 10:10 tells us that satan came to steal, kill and destroy, while Jesus came to give us life. Jesus is the restorer of our souls whereas satan harms our conditions, removes us from our positions, and steals our material goods and even our joy God blesses us with. What better way to respond than to thank God for being in the business of restoration and to extend grace and mercy when we have been slighted. Being confident God is turning things around for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes is part of being made whole and being restored.

So many of us welcome restoration with open arms; we seek after it like its substance is that of gold, yet how often do we sit in the presence of the One Whom we seek restoration from, and wait, listen and obey when He does speak to us? It's like seeking the gift but forgetting to recognize Whom the giver of that gift is. We can't have it all our way, heaven is not Burger King. We can't make the rules for they were ordained at the beginning of time by the One Who set the game of life in motion. We surely can't control every circumstance of our lives. Our Father in heaven knows what is best and loves us too much to leave us to our own destruction. Restoration and being made whole is achieved by means of a loving father, an unconditionally loving Son, Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Being restored unto a loving relationship with God through Jesus Christ is at the core of every human's deepest need whether known or not.

Restoration is being restored back to an original position or place. It is being given back something that was stolen or lost. Although gaining our original position or being brought to our previous place is what restoration can be about, often it is the journey to restoration that puts less emphasis on what was stolen or lost and more importance on our relationship with our ultimate Restorers, almighty God and His Son Jesus Christ. Enter into restoration today and receive the wholeness God has for you.

Easter!!! A Time to Remember - A Time to Reflect - A Time to Be So Thankful

What do we think of when we let the words of 'Easter'gently roll off our lips?
Decorating eggs? Family reunions? The Easter bunny? Perhaps it's just another over-commercialized holiday like so many others.

What should it be?
A day to remember. The day Jesus rose from death after 3 days of a journey like no other man has ever or will ever experience.

A time to reflect. Jesus chose to take upon Himself your sin, my sin, and our children's sin's of the past, the present and the future.

A time to be so thankful. Had Jesus Christ, (the Son of almighty God and Creator of everything) decided not to be punished and whipped for our sins, wearing a crown of thorns and carrying our burdens amongst His entire body, being nailed to the cross and scorned, ridiculed and beaten, what hope would there would have been no hope for you, me, our children or our future generations to receive eternal life.

So what does this mean to you?
I don't know, but it means the world to me.

Today, take a moment to remember...to reflect...the be so thankful for the blood Jesus shed for YOU, to know that God loves YOU so much He gave up His one and only Son Jesus for YOU so that if you believe on Jesus Christ died for YOUR sins, you can be saved and have eternal life.

If you realize you are a sinful being in need of a Savior, pray these words from your heart.
"Lord Jesus, I confess my sins to you and ask for Your forgiveness. I repent, turn away from desiring the things in my life not pleasing to You. I believe You sent Your Son Jesus to die for me. I accept Your forgiveness and free gift of salvation. Come into my life and make me new. Give me the strength to let go of past sins, the wisdom to walk in Your path now, hope for a better future and change my heart as I grow closer to You each day. Thank You for saving me. I am now Yours and surrender my life to Your will. Guide me in Your ways and truth, from this day forward.In Jesus name, Amen."

Congratulations! You've just made the most decision of your life!

Wait! It doesn't doesn't stop there!
To help you learn about your new life in Jesus you need to begin reading the Bible. If you don't already have one, email me at created2blessothers@yahoo.com and I will send you one, FREE of charge.
To help you grow as a new believer, begin attending a church that supports your belief in Jesus Christ ans Lord and Savior. If you need help finding a church family in your area, email me and I can help get you connected with those on the same journey as you.
To get prayer, receive words of wisdom from those going through similar events as you perhaps, and to deepen your relationship with others in the faith look into home groups that may be offered through your church.

Most of all, enjoy your new found journey of purpose, hope and peace!
Some of my favorite scriptures in the Bible - John 3:16, Philippians 4:13, John 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11-13, Philippians 4:4, Psalms 150:6, Romans 8:28.

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength - Nehemiah 8:10

Nehemiah penned these exact words long ago and we would be wise to embed these words into every crevice of our hearts. God's joy is what makes us strong when we are so spent and weak. It is He in us Who is greater than he that us in the world.

As we look upon the Lord to fill us with His strength to make it through the day, to encourage others in their own ways, to serve our families, uplift our friends, pray for relatives and give what we have to the poor, keep in mind our own strength in this life is just not enough. If you haven't already figured that out, you will soon enough.

We believe our strength can be multiplies, extended, built up and exercised without limits, but even Jesus had times He knelt before His Father in weariness to get refueled, energized and recharged Himself. Now if the Son of God had times He plugged into God's strength to continue what was called of Him, do we not think ourselves to be in need of almighty God's strength as well?

Living this life on our own, without tapping into the awesome strength provided by God and through Jesus, is like running a marathon on one leg, dehydrated to the hilt, weak and without hope. Jesus equips us to do all we are called to accomplish, He is our living water, strengthens us beyond good measure and fills us with hope when the finish line has not yet appeared.

Take a moment today to kneel before Father God, humbling ourselves at His feet as we come boldly to the throne of grace. God is able to do exceedingly more than we could ever imagine, Ephesians 3:20, if we let Him. What are you waiting for? Be strengthened today!

Psalm 16 - Trusting God

Preserve me, oh God, for in You I put my trust. Oh my soul you have said to the Lord, "You are my Lord, my goodness is nothing apart from You." As for the saints who are on the earth, "They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight." Their sorrow shall be multiplied who hasten after another god; Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer, nor take up their names upon my lips.

O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance. I will bless the Lord Who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night season. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will rest in hope. For you will not leave my soul, nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Trusting God in Uncertainty

This morning my hubby told me he had an interview with an employer in Arizona. It went well and he was offered a job with good pay, good insurance, nice place to work and a pleasant boss at that. I was excited but heard a sense of hesitancy in my husband's voice. He was not so sure we could find a place to live after having been through this year's trials. The outcome has not been pretty.

Uncertainty visits us all, especially in these times of economic trouble.
God reminds us to "Trust in the Lord always and lean not on our own understanding", Proverbs 3:5 Gods ways are so much higher than mine so why should I lean on whatever understanding I have of any situation? Trusting in God leads to peace, God's will, assurance and security. Leaning on my own understanding usually gets me nowhere.

My family has had to trust God so much this past year and I must admit it has stretched us in so many different directions, but always closer to Him. We have not understand why my husband lost his job in January, our home at this present time, and our grown children have been scattered throughout three different states. We still don't know what His plans are for us, but we have chosen to lean not on our understanding because it is vain. Trusting God is the most logical, obedient and safest thing to do right now.

His plans for us are good, not to harm us but to give us a hope and a future, Jeremiah 29:11. Why should we worry when God is for us? Who then could possibly be against us? Trusting God is the right thing to d;, it's the only thing to do.

The Marriage Code Part III

Unlocking the code to your marriage will take work, dedication, patience,you'll need enthusiasm, intelligence, creativity and most of all, God's help. Moving into the dynamics and living above the line are the backbone of a successful marriage. Because we live in fallen world, sin abounds and temptations are everywhere. Remember though, Jesus has overcome the world and since He crucified our flesh for us, we no longer have to yield to sin's power and control. The victory is ours if we'll just reach out and take it for all its worth.

At the end of chapter 1, Bill and Pam list some questions meant for dialogue over dinner or a cup of coffee. Take these to heart, spend time thinking about them, learn to truly appreciate your spouse for who he is. Make your love last a lifetime.

Attempts to live below the line creates distrust, insecurity and will always be unsuccessful. A husband and wife do themselves a world of good to find out what makes eachother feel secure and successful, loved and respected, and most importantly, accepted by one another just as God has accepted each spouse.


To order Bill and Pam's book The Marriage Code, go to http://www.farrelcommunications.com/

The Marriage Code Part II

Knowing the marriage code sure makes a world of difference. Bill and Pam Farrel tell us in their book, The Marriage Code, the username for wives is wife and the password is success which gives her access into a workable relationship with her husband. A woman's greatest desire is to connect with her husband emotionally, spiritually and financially. She wants her husband to experience the same emotional fullness she does. I have to agree with Bill and Pam. Come on ladies, think about it. Do we not want our hubbies to feel the same things we feel, understand how we understand and love us like we want to be loved. Let's be honest now. I know I am guilty of this. What happened to the giving part of the relationship? All of a sudden somehow, somewhere, as wives we begin to get caught up in the selfishness of being a spouse and the next thing you know, life is all about us. Not good....

Bill and Pam also say that the username for husband is husband and the password is security. Using these gives husband's access into workable relationships with their wives. His greatest desire is to help his wife succeed at what she wants to do in life. Meeting a wife's security need first in all things. This goes against a man's most basic instincts, but if a husband accomplishes this task, he draws his wife towards him and the relationship becomes relaxed. All simply because of the marriage code that can radically change a marriage.

Knowing issues within our marriage can make a world of difference once we know how to access the marriage codes that provide succession our husband's and security for us wives.


To purchase their book go to: http://www.farrelcommunications.com/

A Tribute to Dusty - a Fine Buddy Indeed

Today, Dusty went home to heaven. It was sudden, so sad and sorrowful. Tiffany is heartbroken. She had Dustbucket since she was nine years old. He was bleeding some on Thursday, Tiffy called the vet and he was going to come at the beginning of the week. Bad call indeed, Dusty never made it.

He came to us out of a pasture, calm and gentle and full of life. As a youngster, Dusty would follow us everywhere we went when we were outside with him. One time, he even stepped inside the door from the backyard ready to come inside our home. He was so humanized. We loved him so very much. He was definitely a part of our family and it was not hard for him to weasel his way into our lives the way he did.

He grew to became a stunning boy, showing nicely in 4-H, the arena and trail. Dusty became Tiffy’s buddy; comforting her, loving her and staying by her side. She’d spend hours brushing him, bathing and just hugging his big, strong neck, sharing her dreams and sorrows with him. He would nudge Kenny's side as Ken was building a pen for the sheep when Dusty was about nine years young. Tahlya and Nathen loved riding him and what a love he was to anyone on his back. This past spring Chrissy got to show him and then this summer Tiffany enjoyed her last showing with Dusty. He did wonderful. What a pair Tiffany and Dusty made.

When Jeff Murray, Dusty's farrier, would trim his feet, Dusty would turn around and take off Jeff's hat with his lips. Dusty loved water and would play with the hose when we filled up the water trough. He'd grab the hose with his teeth and throw his head all over, getting Jesse all wet while she was standing by for her own drink.
Dusty was gentle with all creatures beneath his feet whether it was Tahlya as a toddler or a puppy that had escaped its mommy's reach. He was like a person when he touched you with his muzzle. He was always so curious and would come up to you, in your bubble and sniff your breath as if to say, "Hello." Dusty so carefully would take an apple from Nathen's hand without ever touching Nathen's hand or fingers.

Just about one month ago I was with Tiffy while she was working Dusty and Jesse. While I was standing on the outside of the round pen, I felt something push me gently on my back. I turned around and Dusty's gigantic rear end was against my back and his head turned towards me, eyes staring at mine letting me know he wanted his rump scratched. It was hilarious. He'd actually backed himself against me while I was leaning against the chain link fence. He didn't want me to forget him while i was watching Tiffy work Jesse. I just laughed, squeezed out of the way of the fence and gave his rump a nice long scratching.

We learned so much from you Dusty, like how to enjoy life, be silly, curious and relax. How everything is worth exploring and nothing should be taken for granted. Thank you Dusty, for your many lessons in life.

We truly miss you Dusty. Rest in peace, run free in heaven, graze and lie in the warmth of God’s love. Life will truly not be the same without you in it.

The Marriage Code

My husband and I have been reading The Marriage Code by Bill and Pam Farrel and wanted to share a few things we thought might interest all who are married, and those who might be one day.

Discovering our own secret love languages has imperical value these days. We can find this language through understanding the secret code in marriages. Living in a world that uses codes has its advantages. We have usernames and passwords that get us into our email, facebook, twitter, eBay, blogspot, myspace, craigs list, amazon accounts, why would we not think there might be a code to delve inside the best parts of our relationships? Well there is. Taken right from Bill and Pam's book are a few tidbits to get yo thinking.

* It is obvious when the code is in place because your relationship works well.

* It is just as obvious when the code is not in place because almost everything is out of sync.

* Entering the marriage code into your relationship is a daily exercise. In the same way that you need to enter a username and password into your computer each time you start it up, your love relationship needs an access code every day.

* The marriage code is based on the most common needs that men and women have.


Relationships are not as simplistic as you may have well found out by now. Men and women have different needs at the core of their very beings. These core needs shape how life is approached and how relationships are interacted within. Bill and Pam believe every person has these two core needs within them; the need for security and success. Security being the belief it is safe to be who we are. Success being the belief that our lives are workable.

Read more each day to find out what makes The Marriage Code such a life changing book every married couple should be reading!Whether you have figured out the marriage code in your own relationship or not, this book will give you keen insight to help other married couples. It can also be a valuable tool used in premarital counseling to give engaged couples an edge on their lifetime commitment of marriage.

Choosing to Blossom Along the Journey

The other day I was thinking about how a seed is rooted in the ground, nurtured with water to sprout, emerges either strong or weak, is pumped full of vitamin D from the sun and grows useful or dies pitifully. Kind of like the human life, wouldn't you say?

From before we were born, God knew us (Psalm 139:13-16) and had plans for us; plans for good and not for harm, plans to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He knew us as a seed yet formed, rooted, nurtured and growing. WOW! How awesome is that?!
But, because of His great love for us, He gave us a choice. A choice to choose Him, to choose life through His Son Jesus, or to choose the world and all it has to offer, to choose death and eternity in hell (John 3:16).

When we choose life, just as with the seed rooted firmly in the soil, we can choose to be rooted firmly in Christ. God is a gentlemen, He will not force us to choose to love Him and accept His Son Jesus Christ. It just isn't going to happen. God created us with our own wills, (remember Adam and eve in the garden of Eden?), ya. We become firmly rooted when we spend time with God, reading His words to us in the Bible, filling our minds with heavenly things and being obedient to all He says. Sure, we are human and make mistakes. That was the whole reason we needed Jesus to be our Savior, but what little effort it takes to confess our wrong doings and receive Jesus' forgiveness, go on and become better because of God's unconditional love for us.

Our nurturing takes place when we love Jesus will all our hearts, minds, souls and strength, are daily spending time in God's word, memorizing scripture so that we don't sin against our Lord (Psalm 119:11), praise Him (Psalm 100:4) and allow the Holy Spirit to wash our lives with His word, empower us to lives well pleasing to our Lord and to be blessings to those God puts in our paths.

Time spent in the sun adds vitamin D to our bodies thereby enriching our very beings. So it is with time spent with the Son of God. Our lives are enriched beyond measure and as we grow in the knowledge of Him (II Peter 3:18) our lives are transformed into the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29).

Our lives are a journey of blossoming into what God has called us to become. We can either radiate the fragrance of lavander or emminate the vile stench of a corpse flower.
We can choose to grow or choose to shrivel up and die. It is all about choice; and it is a matter of life and death.



For further reflection I highly recommend-
(http://www.americamagazine.org/content/article.cfm?article_id=3206)

Trusting God in Discouragement

Today was a very hard day for me. I found out that hours I thought would be able to be used as part of my internship cannot be used so I have roughly 100 hours of interns to complete by December 11th. This is so disappointing to me as I am already committed to Lay Counseling training, co-facilitating Divorce Care for Kids, my daily blog here, have a suicide prevention and awareness training weekend in October, my monthly article for the journal as well as delivering the Journal, am taking emergency first aid and CPR next month and November and now I will be putting in about 10-12 hours per week at the Y.M.C.A. working with the kids in order to complete my internship and learn more about caring for kids, not to mention sorting through things at home and packing to move.

To top it off, Doug, my oldest son, called today and let me know all the work he and his wife have done for the past 5 months of paying off $17,000 of credit card bills and saving money to put down on a home for my husband I to move to Phoenix, is not enough. Doug and Jessica will not be ready to purchase a home until next April or so now. I was so looking forward to finally moving closer to my grandchildren, living in the valley of the sun with warmth and sunshine almost every day of the year, getting insurance through a job for Ken that we've been praying for months to get so that Kenny could be seen regarding a prolonged injury from the accident a couple of years ago and for me to be seen for my health and dental issues, as well as being able to live in a home we can call our own once again. Ken was suppose to go in two weeks to find work and then I was going to join him by the beginning of December after my interns were completed. We are just waiting to get our 30 day notice from our mortgage company to move out of our home so life could definitely be better right now.

I must admit I am extremely discouraged right now. Depression seems to loom over my head and my heart is heavy with sadness. I feel all is falling apart and hope is buried deep within my bones. I know God says in Hebrews he will never leave me or forsake me and that He has good plans for me, plans to give me a future and a hope but tonight, I just feel like the world is caving in and God is watching even though I know He is carefully holding me in His arms. Our exciting plans have been dropped just like that and while my hope is in Jesus, my excitement of a new start in Phoenix soon vanished with this most discouraging news.

Trusting Jesus at this very moment seems so hard, but I know because I can do all things with Jesus' help, I can get through this sorrowful moment knowing these things shall pass and God's grace is sufficient for me; whether I feel like it or not.

Hearing God's Call

Lord, it is 1:30 a.m. and I hear you speaking to me and clear Lord. You have put the desires within my heart to seek and save the lost in a joint effort with You almighty God. It is by Your Holy Spirit that they are called, comforted, encouraged, found and saved. It is by Your hand I have such a drive for prevention and being used as a tool; Your tool to bring unbelievers to You.

Cause me to be worthy of this calling; I feel so inadequate. I know You are with me just as Your were with David when facing Goliath, the giant of all giants. I know Your go before me and cover me on all sides when I face the giants in these young people’s hearts. When I rise up against the powers of hell, the demons within that battle for their very souls. I could do nothing without You, without Your guidance, Your strength and power. Thank you that You have promised to never leave me or forsake me, especially in my time of need.

These kids need You. They must know they have a purpose, that they are special and loved by the Creator of this universe. How awesome is that! Help me to relay to them Your love, Your purpose for their lives, that they have worth and are valuable. Give me the words they need to hear. Because it is not Your will for even one of them to perish eternally, I thank You God for saving their souls, enriching their lives and giving them hope in a world lacking a reason to exist.

Direct me as I step out in faith and heal me that I may be whole and strong to help heal others. Drive out the darkness and selfishness, evil and apathy within my own heart that I may do Your will and be obedient to anything You call me to do. Fill me with Your strength , peace and perseverance…even unto death if it be Your will for me. Thank you for calling me to serve You, to love others and for giving me your simple gospel to share with a hurting and destructive world. I go in Your name, in Your power, for Your glory.

God's Grace Is Sufficient

God's calling in our lives changes often from moment to moment. We know we are in His hands and He won't let anything happen to us that is not in His will. That's why we pray for His will and the necessary preparations that may come with accepting His will if it not be our own. Hearing God's calling in our lives is vital to our very breath.

It has been hard since last summer when my husband and I helped my son and his wife and my two grandbabies, Tahlya 10 and Nathen 12, moved away and out of our lives. I have never felt such a ripping of my flesh before. We had them every weekend and sometimes through the week during the summer months, from the time they were about 6 months old. We were more like a second set of parents to them rather than their grandparents. Our worlds revolved around them as well as those of my own older children. They were all like siblings. God was trying to help us get our priorities right with Him being in the center. Then, this year, my oldest daughter and her husband moved to Corning in northern California, one week ago tomorrow night. Again, my heart feels torn, but God reminds me if I have given Him my heart, it is not my heart that is tearing my life, and He's got it under control for me; I need to let go. Today, my sweet spiritual daughter who our whole family was so convinced was going to be my daughter-in-law to my youngest son now 22, moved to Portland. She came over for my hubby to look her truck over before she drove to Portland and her, my youngest daughter and I walked around the corner from my house yesterday to a garage sale, for the last time. This morning around 10, she left and yet again a piece of m life, is gone........... for good. Right now, I am not sure what God is trying to teach me. Right now, my heart hurts and grieves for the happy times of family altogether. Besides God, family has been everything to me; maybe they weren't always in the right order... I am not sure.

My youngest son is talking about moving to Phoenix with a long time friend he's known since they were about nine years old. Thought Branden was moving over with my husband and me, now, it may not work that way. I am happy for him, but asking God to prepare my heart for yet another hard adjustment in my life. I feel they are coming more often yet there is less of me to hurt each time. Not sure if that is good, or bad. When my husband and I leave in a month or so, we will wave goodbye to my youngest daughter and her husband. My heart feels like it will break and never mend. But as God reminds me, He owns my heart... so that won't happen, but it sure feels like it will.

Today, Pastor Mark Goens, whom I also will miss terribly, spoke about II Corinthians 12. God's grace is sufficient for me. It says so much more, but right now, today, I can only hang onto those 6 words. I think that is what God is calling me to do at this moment in my life.

Contemplating Contentment

My husband's 45th birthday is but a memory now. As I was cleaning up the leftover food and covering his chocolate cake, I realized something. Sometimes the road to contentment is long and windy, sometimes it's short and choppy. Often times, the earth beneath our feet can seem to tremble upon every step we take. Skies can appear as blue as the sea or as deep as the ocean yet the peace that leads to true contentment comes not from the heaven's above nor from the waters below but from the Holy Spirit within.

As I contemplate being content with the new journey my family is about to embark upon, God began speaking to me about simplenenes. I'm not even sure if that is a word out of the Webster's dictionary or God just made it up, but I am certain of one thing, I must simplify for my own sanity. Reminds me of an article I wrote one time entitled just that, "Simplify for Your Sanity". Apparently I need to go examine this mindboggling concept another time.

I close my eyes, sit back and take a deep breath just imagining what might this mean. More time with God in the mornings, de-cluttering my bedroom, being able to say 'yes' when my girlfriend calls me to grab a hot chocolate with her or quite possibly when one of my grown children sit on the couch across from me and actually look me eye to eye rather than at the top of my head or back of my book. As I let out my breath slowly, a smile creeps upon my face and I realize, this simpleness, is what I have been longing for.

I can't imagine waking and sitting up against my pillow, stretching my arms and leaning over to gab my Bible, opening it to a new book with great anticipation of what God may want to speak to my heart that morning. To walk to my closet without meandering through a path of boxes or books to choose my wardrobe for the day is an almost incomprehensible task. Packing a lunch and heading to the river with my kids for a picnic and skipping stones along the river's surface has been a long-awaited activity I have pondered so many times while in class. Contentment would definitely have its place in my heart amongst these most serene conditions.

Knowing the day I was born not a single item did I possess, it should be my goal to leave this world in the same fashion since everything belongs to God anyway. Whether we keep our home or lose it, whether a better job is replaced with the job Ken lost, whether this new journey my family is about to embark on leads to anything better than what we have now, is not the question, but the answer.

Our contentment with what things we have now will determine the state of our futures. Simplifying is an art, one in which I am determined to master. If we are commanded to preach the simple gospel than why let anything else in our lives become anything but simple? This is something we all must truly contemplate.


1 Timothy 6:6-7 (New King James Version)
"Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain[a] we can carry nothing out."

Turbulent Times for Testing

None of us like to be tested, let me tell you. I have spent the last two years in college and every exam deadline I had caused me intense anxiety. As the date came closer and closer, I seemed to pace more, bite my lip, breath harder, shoulders lifting higher and higher with each passing day. Testing was not my cup of tea. I think I would have even done better had they called these exams another other than a test.

In I Peter 1:6 & 7, God reminds us, "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the geuineness of your faith, being much more than precious gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ."

I most definitely could understand the testing by fire as I have encountered more hot flashes and heart palpitations during school than all my life. But God reminds me it is but for a little white, true, I graduate in Criminal Justice minoring in Juvenile Corrections on June 13th in which I greatly rejoice! The trials I have encountered this year so far have definitely been grievous to me. My husband lost his job, we are losing our home due to foreclosure the end of August and we must declare bankruptcy before moving from Oregon back to Arizona...and worse yet, without all my grown children we brought here to Oregon fourteen years ago.
I must remember though, far more is being tested than just my knowledge of criminal law. My genuineness is more precious to God than gold. I do praise God through these trials and testing, that I bring God honor and glory, and that Jesus Christ is revealed through me.

Turbulent Times for Testing; I want an A, how about you?

A Change of Heart

Alright, so a 2002 Subaru WRX pimped to the max with high performance everything and far from stock, is not the kind of vehicle I should be cruisin’ around in on a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon in the small town of Grants Pass in the beautiful state of Oregon. Here's why....

Today coming home for church, mind you after I sat through a wonderful hour long sermon, that was truly fabulous, I found an open lane across from my hubby that beckoned my name. I briefly looked at him, and he at me. I scanned the rear horizon for any noticeable blue and red lights and then I couldn’t help myself. I really couldn’t. It was like an adrenalin rush before the adrenalin rush, you know what I mean? Maybe not, but you should have. It was awesome!

Just coming off a red light I gunned it in first, swiftly shifted to second and enjoyed being plastered to the back of my seat, noticing everything around me quickly whizzing by just wasn’t enough. Yes, into third I shifted and was quickly off again, my husband, well, he was but a speck in my rear view mirror, I am sure shaking his head at me, envisioning our insurance escalating and worrisome over how he will spend the next year getting me to my classes at the local college and him to work on time during the week, not if, but when I am caught.

I down shifted while turning into the right lane getting onto Redwood Highway and lo and behold a trooper coasts by with his stern grin and hot looking Charger with a complete black rack in the front of his bumper perfectly suited as a radical ramming device. Of course I innocently cruise along going no more than the posted speed limit and become restless by the second. As myself and a little black Honda, late model 90’s with a kid in the driver’s seat that looked not a day over 19 pulled up next to me, we glanced at the trooper, back at eachother and as he waved within my eyesight range I knew we were immediately on the same page; or were we?

I’ve been a Christian for over twenty-five years. My husband and I met cruising in our early model Mustang’s, and drag racing in Phoenix, Arizona. This combination together has led me to a happy marriage and speed still running through my blood. Just look at the vehicles my two son’s drive. My oldest, a Honda he’d gutted to race at the drag strip, and a very quick 2002 Subaru WRX, in which I joyfully drive throughout the streets of Grants Pass. My youngest son, an early 90’s model Honda CRX with a turbo that has seen its share of 22 pounds of boost, and a late 90’s model Chevy Camaro (he bought off my hubby and I a couple of years ago) with an LT1 Corvette motor that literally screams. It is awesome. Anyway, racing is still alive and well in my household and yet when the young man in his Honda, and I in the WRX, glanced at one another while stopped at a light while the state trooper idled just a few feet in front of us, something hit me. Would we have raced had the trooper been trooping somewhere else? All notions say yes, and I realized what a bad mentor I would have been, adrenalin and all. Had we gone for it, I would have been encouraging this young man to drag on the street, quite the opposite of what I tell young people to do in this town. What do I say, “Save it for the track.” Yet this was farthest from my mind in the middle of those glances which spoke volumes.

I came home thinking about blaming the little race car I was driving, my resisting to grow up, racing in my blood, anything that made sense. What I did not immediately blame, was the hidden rebellion in my heart. As hard as it was to admit, this was it. I couldn’t believe it. I, who spend a great deal of time mentoring students in this crime laden town with a justice system that needs quite a bit of tweaking when it comes to traffic crimes, was all fired up and ready to disobey at my heart’s will by an adrenalin rush like no other (yes, even better than drugs). What am I doing? What am I thinking? Who do I want to become to these young people? These questions began flooding my mind and I started to take inventory. This is it. I am enrolled in criminal justice classes and must maintain an attitude of obedience, not only to God but to authority. I must initiate this attitude because I know the power of the mind. As a mentor entering into the world of justice, I am not only obligated to follow the rules of the land that do not contradict the will of God, but I must walk the walk and not only talk the talk.

Wow, what a valuable lesson to learn on a bright Sunday afternoon cruising around in a sporty little WRX through a town in desperate need of mentors who can change lives, save lives and make a difference. This is the kind of mentor I want to be. Lord willing, I will make a difference in the lives of these young people, Lord knows I struggle with some of their same struggles, (grin).

In The Midst of Unwanted Change

Recently I experienced change in a most dramatic way. My husband and I helped my son, daughter-in-law and two precious grandchildren move to Phoenix, Arizona. 1,200 miles away, to a land full of warm sunshine, beautiful lightening shows, friendliness amongst the people, and order within the cities walls is where they now call home. How my heart sank as we drove south through California and then west into Arizona. Life had taken a sharp turn and I felt left behind and immobile.
I know God promises He never changes. Hebrews 13:8 says He is the same, yesterday, today and forever. But somehow this did not comfort my soul at first. I wrestled with what I wanted, thought best for everyone and needed. I gave little regard to where God’s hand may have been leading my sweet family to a brighter place; a place with new opportunities that would help them grow closer to Him. I felt my heart breaking as I pondered on the day I would have to hug my grandbabies, Nathen and Tahlya goodbye. I felt my knees shake as I knew I would not see Doug, my son and Jessica, my daughter-n-law, much longer. The pangs were almost too much to bear, yet I knew God was near.

Change did come. I wrote a memoir of the sadness I felt, the effects of this change I saw as nothing but distance between my dear family and me, and the relentless hope I experienced during this time of change. God gently took my hand over the next few days and was there when I woke as I text the kids a prayer for a good day. God was there when I walked through an empty heart of despair that took my breath away with every step. God held me when I gathered the kids’ things together to put in a care package to send to them. He comforted me in the midst of my tears when I realized Sundays from now on, I would no longer have my grandchildren by my side at church, we would not have lunch together afterward and I wouldn’t chat with Doug and Jess before they took the kids home. When I felt my heart being pulled apart at each end, God reminded me He was there.

I titled this memoir, Half a Heart, and realized this was just not so. I gave my heart to Jesus at nineteen and never took it back, so how could half of it be gone? God was lovingly teaching me something here. Who have I pledged my life to? Was I living for my family or for God Himself? This thought floored me as I sat deeply contemplating whom I had allowed my affections to belong to. I give affection to my grandchildren, my son and daughter-in-law; I cannot give them my heart. As long as God is the keeper of my heart, neither myself nor Satan, should have such a hold on me I can’t exist another day. What was I thinking? God was moving part of my family, part of me, to a better place and this choice of God’s led me to shaky knees, a wounded heart, relentless hope and emptiness to the point of despair? Something was out of place. 2008 is a year of new beginnings. Was I hindering this work of the Lord in my family through my own selfish desires?

I repented for allowing my family to own what was rightfully God’s, my heart. Although my emotions were pounded like raging waters against shores of infinite sand, I had allowed myself to be overtaken by feelings God could tame if I let Him. The pain that once stabbed so deeply finally lessened to a dulling numbness in my body. I realized I cannot live for my family; I must live for my God. The relationship I have with my family is one God has so richly blessed me with. It is a gift and one to be appreciated but not idolized. The benefit of sharing love so deep, so vast and wide is an overflow of the love God has for me and those whom I love so dearly. His love quickly covered me in a blanket of peace and calm. Being engulfed in His love and comfort caused me to embrace these changes in my life right now, as opposed to resenting them. Faith made its way into the depths of my heart. God, who is so deserving of my trust, surely has earned my dependence upon Him even when I don’t understand things. Oswald Chambers put it this way. “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time.”

God changes not. I depended on Him yesterday, I can depend on Him today, and I will depend on Him for tomorrow. Change may be inevitable, but my God can see me through any and all changes that may be gravely unwanted but desperately needed. Can you depend on God to be there through changes in your life?

Denise’s memoir visit www.created2bless.gather.com