Pieces Worthy of Tweeking

I wonder when the online publishing market changed from
seeking out great pieces of writing full of quality and
character, to publishing anything they thought might be read
and produce a stream of income.
I wrote a piece on steps to a better marriage and it was
immediately published online to the first place I presented it
to. Now, I had written this for a writing class I had taken during
the summer and it did not get stupendous marks from my
teacher, but she did like it. I had some tweeking to do but
rather take this piece further and make it more of a quality
piece rather than just a great reading piece, I sent it in. After
going online and reading this myself from the view point of
any other reader, I discovered how very unhappy I was with the
piece. I was mad I had sent it in and others were reading a
piece lacking quality and character. Reader’s deserve the best
by the time it gets in front of their eyes, and what I had
produced, at best, was a work in progress. I was quite
frustrated at the publishing company that had chosen to
publish it and realized, the piece has made money, but was
not ready to be read by anyone else’s eyes but mine.
I guess I assumed the publisher would know whether it was
really ready to go online or not. I was very wrong. Mind you, it
was good and one could glean a great deal of Godly wisdom
from it, but what tweeking I had yet to do with it. I was
disappointed at the very least.
So, I decided to work with it quite a bit more. Removing a
category I had created for a topic, and move the finest points
of that topic to a different category already created. The
Imaginative Writing and English classes I was currently taking
at the local college were helping me a great deal in seeing
what is truly a quality writing piece, and that which needs quite
a bit of tweeking.
I am not done tweeking yet, but when I am, I know it will be a
piece I can be proud to have published. Because God is a first
rate God, why should I take His words and make them
anything less?
I am thankful God gave me the gift of writing that I might
impart His words to others in ways that soothe their souls,
calm their spirits and help them grow to become more like
Jesus. My ultimate goal for all who read anything I write in the
first place. But I must do a lot more tweeking before touching
other’s lives.

7 Ways to Overcome Depression

1. Fight it! Fight the urge to feel depressed. Hit it with everything you've got!

Don’t allow yourself to indulge in thoughts of sadness, sorrow, regret, hate, misfortune, anxiety, confusion or defeat. Stand tall, head up, shoulders back, and declare you were made for a purpose, others are looking up to you, victory is in your blood and new opportunities are in your hands.


2. Get involved! Get involved in helping someone else, and do it now!

Do look for opportunities to help someone less fortunate who has realistic needs. Reach out to them with open arms and lend them a hand or two. Smile and be thankful you are alive and able to lend a hand. It will make an enormous difference to that someone you thought didn’t even know you existed.


3. Count your blessings! Begin counting all the blessings bestowed upon you!

Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have, who you don’t know or why you are in the place you are in right now. Fix your eyes on those things that are of good report. Remember the simple joys in life and be thankful you have had them. Spend time reminiscing the past victories and realize you are blessed!


4. Look forward not backward! Look to the future and what it can hold for you!

Do see new possibilities and shoot for them. Tell yourself you can do anything you put your mind and heart to. Never give up, keep pressing on and do everything to the best of your abilities. Stop doubting yourself and see yourself as others see you. You are successful at whatever you put your hands to.


5. Be confident! See yourself as confident and carry yourself like a winner!

Don’t ever associate yourself again with the term, “loser”. Throw that word out of your vocabulary. You are a winner! Refuse to listen to anyone, including yourself, speak negative words to you. Speak and listen to only positive things and communicate words of victory and not defeat. Meditate on the unquestionable fact that you were born to win.


6. Take risks! Try new and risky things on for size and watch how great they fit!

Do experiment with new ideas, create new challenges, expect more from yourself and get ready for the results that will change your life. Believe in yourself like no one else ever has before. Rise to the expectations of your most wildest dreams! Go for it, and never look back!


7. Enjoy the ride! Life is an adventure and only gets better as the ride gets longer!

Sit back for a moment and laugh ‘til you can’t anymore. Delight yourself in the aspirations that drive you. Allow motivation to take you for the ride of your life. Hang on and let life inspire, fulfill and reward you with its passions, contentment and joyful surprises!

BRANDEN'S CALLING

Today is Branden's first day of working at Merlin Airport.

At fourteen, Branden came home from being at a Bible camp for a week with his youth group. He was excited beyond measure. He told my husband and I he felt God was calling to be a pilot. I must admit I was at first, alittle worried. But when I began to think back in Branden's life the things he was most interested in. I began to see how this calling seemed to mimic Branden's interests and passions. He was always interested in other's lives, enjoyed sharing Jesus with strangers and never had a problem talking to adults, even when he was only five years old. He loved missions and at very young ages he was able to leave Mom and Dad without any problems. When he was two years old, I caught his arm as he was attempting to run across the street to get his skateboard that flew out between his legs and landed in the middle of the street. I told him he could get hit by a car and die. He replied, "Then I would go home to be with Jesus in heaven, Mommy". All I could do was hold him and thank God for this little boy with a heart so close to Jesus. As he got older, he became a bit more daring in the way he played. We had a trampoline, and one day I looked out my kitchen window to see the trampoline mysteriously moving toward the middle of our house across the lawn. I saw no one pushing it, or pulling it. I put the dishes down I was washing, and went to the door to see this small boy yanking on the legs of the trampoline, inching it near the side of the house and almost directly under the overhand on our roof. Not understanding why he has carefully placed the trampoline in this spot, I went back in but watched eagerly out the window. The next thing I knew, I saw this little body free falling from nowhere. It was like Branden had catapulted himself off the highest point of our roof above the attic and was in a full front flip as he sped past my window. I didn't have time to even get outside before I saw this same body happily bouncing up high above my window, only to come falling down and bouncing up again a few more times. I briskly went outside and let him know this was not going to happen again. Well, it didn't off the house onto the trampoline, but he is twenty years old now, and I marvel at the days I look up on the sky with a smile on my face, peace in my heart usually, and joy in my soul knowing he is where he is suppose to be. He is only ten hours away from getting his private license, and then onto bigger and better things.

I hope he had a great day at the airport. I hope he was reminded of the calling Jesus put on his heart so many years ago. But most of all, I hope and pray he is at peace knowing he is right where God wants him to be.

Revelation at Last!

This afternoon, I was driving in town while listening to a CD of a friend of mine. She had spoke at a conference in Washington about bitter root judgments and had the conference recorded. Since I am editing her book on bitter root judgments, she thought if I listened to her CD I would thoroughly understand about the topic at hand. As I was going through the prayers and asking the Lord to show me where some of my bitter root judgments had been, He reminded me of my prayer for my youngest son, Branden. I had begged God to show me why, in times past, was I not aggressive in protecting Branden and coming to his aid? I have many deep rooted regrets for not being there as I should have for him but I could not understand why, when I love him with my life, did I often come to his rescue as I should have. God brought me back some thirty years earlier when my Mother and Father both had failed to protect me from very serious conditions. I was mad at God and my parents, and felt it was so unfair and could not understand why my Mother would deny the sexual abuse that I had endured and why my Father chose to leave my Mother, sister and I and remain distant in our lives. I was angry with God for giving me parents that would not do whatever it took to make their marriage work. I was frustrated to no end at my parents for not protecting me and standing up for me. I felt so betrayed by God, wondering where was he was in all of this. I immediately confessed my bitter root judgments towards them, asked God to forgive me for having these bitter root judgments, though they may have been true and valid. Then I cut, severed and broke the reaping of these brj's (bitter root judgments), and because what is bound on earth is bound in heaven, I loosed God in heaven to deal with them and the situations of the reaping in my son that came from my judging. I asked God for a divine reversal and thanked Him for it. I felt God's peace swarm over me and knew heaven had heard. I spoke protection where there was none, healing where there had been a breech, and knew God begin working to reverse things at that very moment.

I challenge you today. Take a look in the past at where you might have done the same as me. You can rewrite your future, and it can begin today! Phil. 4:13

7 Steps to a Healthy Marriage

Commitment

Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, “ from this day forward..” Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying ‘until do us part’ have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that doubles your chances of marriage survival.
Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together, career choices and much more.
Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with each other’s blessing and support.

Agreement

Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing, and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.
Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse’s life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues, friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc. These are all issues that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments. Having agreement brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and last a lifetime.

Common Interests

What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone better or not. If the ‘click’ is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on.Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse, however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through thick and thin.
As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage. While there must be things you both like to do or places you both like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrapbooking or visa versa. Couples still need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses themself altogether in their mate. It just means a new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities, likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete eachother more fully. Taking the time to share in your spouse’s joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a marriage.

Forgiving Forever

This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one’s life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not impossible with forgiveness.
Whether you’ve been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness such a necessary component in a marriage. In the time you are wed, there will be wrongs experienced, offenses dealt and unfortunate misunderstandings happen that lead to feelings being hurt and trust being tested. Without forgiveness, offenses can be held in the heart, dangled over heads, and used as a weapon against the other spouse and further offenses can take place. Forgiveness paves the way for healing and restoration. Two things every marriage must have actively working in it or it is just a matter of time for the marriage to dissolve and each go his/her own way. Forgiveness is tough, usually needing a supernatural touch from God to ensure forgiveness is forever. It must be reciprocated, all the time. Both spouses must be willing to seek forgiveness before closing the issues and moving on. Just as love can last a lifetime, forgiveness needs to be forever. No looking back, bringing up old offenses, or holding grudges. Trust can be rebuilt when forgiveness is genuinely offered and accepted. The marriage can become stronger and spouses can feel closer than ever, when forgiveness is present in the relationship.

Giving 110%

When we marry, we are deeply in love, wishing only the best for our spouses, and expecting only the best from them. When we dated our spouses, we always put them first, giving 100% of ourselves, our time and attention. Their needs, wants and desires became ours. We thought alike, laughed over the same things, and enjoyed believing in one another. Every day was new and fresh with excitement of what it may hold. Selfishness was not in either spouses vocabulary, for each spouse did everything they could to please the other. After the wedding, it is easy to get comfortable and think about our relationship as being planted firmly and unshakable. All too soon, the other spouse is no longer top priority. Other things come into play, such as a new job, hobby or interest. One spouse slacks off with responsibilities, and the other feels they are carrying more than half the weight in the relationship. If this is you, a check and balance system needs to be adopted and both spouses need to comply.
Giving 100% at all times means there are no gaps. Both spouses are cared for completely. Not all the time will one spouse be able to give 100%. This is where the spouse will need to give 110% and actually make up for the lack of the other spouse. Maybe one spouse is having to change jobs and more hours at work are involved. The spouse with the same routine may need to pick up some of the slack of the other spouse for a time. Agreeing on how long and knowing what extra duties must rest on the spouse without the job change for instance is extremely important. At this time, one spouse may be giving 110% while the other can only give 90%, Thus having the overlap where needs can still be met, responsibilities are taken care of and peace and joy can remain between the couple. If either spouse slacks off more than their fair share, burdens are felt by both spouses, patience falls and if the weight of one spouse is carried for too long, the one will crumble and animosity and grudges can form and be very hard to break through. Marriages are give and take relationships. Both are always giving, but once in a while, one may need to give more than the other for a time. This 110% makes up for slack, holds things together for a time, and keeps things in balance long enough for couples to return to routines and deposit into their reserves once again. This is what helps whether storms that would ordinarily shake a marriage and set it on the rocks. Giving 110% never sees gaps, it is always covering for bumps and being sure there is always enough to sustain the marriage.

Power of Apology

The simple word is quite powerful actually. Saying your sorry covers a multitude of sins and can lead to immediate healing and restoration. What could take years to overcome, can happen in a matter of a few words, I’m truly sorry. These are words to live by, to love by and to die by.
When an apology is left unsaid, bitterness can easily grow in the heart leaving little room for love and kindness.
Simply say your sorry. The event may not have been your fault, or it may have been. Either way, whatever touches our spouse touches us as well. If we are to maintain a healthy relationship with those we love, particularly our spouses, sorry should not only roll naturally out of our mouths, but immediately. In a marriage, a spouse normally does not want to hurt their beloved partner, but to help heal and restore them. Apologizing right away leaves little room for hurt to bury itself within the walls of the heart. Saying sorry cuts through the pain and opens wounds to heal while helping to avoid any festering. A soft answer does turn away wrath, and if troubled by anger, you are approached with a gentle, caring apology, it make sit very hard to remain hard and cold. Saying you’re sorry, begins the necessary healing and forgiveness process, that makes good relationships better and great relationships outstanding.

Being Thankful

Last, but not least, is thankfulness. Gratitude goes far and is remembered long after it is offered. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, and our spouse should be at the top of the list. When we are thankful, it gives us a sense of appreciation we can get from nothing else in life. Through good times and in bad times, thankfulness for having met our spouse, marrying and committing our lives to them deepens our walk with them. The world is viewed as a better place just because of thankfulness.
Think of the times you were thankful and those you were not. Were not the times of thankfulness far more fulfilling than those times we sulked in our self-pity? So why not choose to be thankful rather than ungrateful? Being thankful humbles and reminds us to look around and be content with such things that we have. Putting thankfulness at the top of our list not only makes us feel good, but it also makes your spouse feel that you are putting them first.. Which in return makes them want to put you above them. It is a wonderful, endless cycle to get caught up in. It seems when we are not thankful, everything in life looks bitter. Skies are darker, flowers lose their sweet scents, people irritate us more and life just seems depressing. Being thankful truly is a wonderful way of life, of looking at things and experiencing life’s greatest rewards, no matter how small or how large. Being thankful is always worth it.

Where Are You Lord?

I don't understand. You can move mountains, separate and walk on water, even raise a dead man. I know You have cured illnesses and provided comfort in times of distress. Your love has encompassed in stressful times of trials, and You have sent peace in the midst of great storms. Why , Oh why are you not sparing my sweet Tiffany of her horrid ailments? Where are You Lord?

She kneels in great distress with aching stomach, throwing up acid and shaking uncontrollably. You hear her cries, we both know this. You see her pain and truly care. How I ache along with her, as I kneel behind her and look up to You for comfort. My eyes fill with tears silently, not knowing what You are doing in her life right now. Are You testing her faith or building it up?

You see her deep devotion to You Lord. You are her God, the lifter of her head. She seeks You and only You in times of tribulation and uncertainty. She is not shaken by the pangs and weakness in her body. Patiently, she waits for an answer. Are You coming to her rescue?

Her mind wanders off in between the gut wrenching heaves, to her bosses who need her desperately in less than three hours time. All she can think of is the work set before her. She needs Your strength just to make it through this night. Her breathing becomes labored like a woman giving birth. But she has no hope for a child from this adversity, only feelings of great anguish and torment. Is this truly of You?

We take authority over the strong man and bind him in his steps. Releasing peace, and comfort, wellness and hope. My eyes shift to her frailness and back to You, Oh Lord. We will sit at Your feet and wait on Your presence to take her away from this place. Where You want her to be, fully whole and complete. Is she there yet?

Time lapses into early morning light. Still, she waits on You for healing, comfort and calm. Finally, she rests in Your everlasting peace and gentle stillness. Her eyes close as she slowly falls off to sleep. Our hearts are so thankful that this trial is through. We're trusting she will have strength, needed strength to please those she must go to shortly, believing You have multiplied the hours of her rest. Graciously You have shown up and once again; she has trusted in One so worthy of this expectation. Might You come again Lord?

TRIBUTE TO KIMRON~

This is a tribute to one of my most favorite Lhasa's in the world .... Kimron.
Today, my precious Kimron, has gone onto heaven.

Less than an hour ago, Kimie was looking up at me, with painstricken eyes yet full of peace and contentment. She was so thin, would not eat for me, and was scarcely drinking her water. I had given her an immodium for the runs, and she was still thowing up white foam. I was there when she was born, and there when she died. She never made a sound although she was only 5 five feet from me.

Let me tell you a little about my Kimron~

She was a beautiful white coated Lhasa with carmel on her ears. Such a sweet girl. Kimron was lengthy, tall and a fabulous mommy. Her babies were always so healthy and beautiful. She loved her baths, as she always fell asleep in the sink. I would put warm water all over her and massage her back. To rinse her off, I would need to wake her up. She would slowly open her eyes and give me a look of true appreciation. I would have to rub her more because she loved it so much. She was a Lhasa with a tender spirit, enjoyed playing with the other doggies, so gentle with any puppy, loved my grandchildren and was a comfort to me as I was to her.

Recently, she was diagnosed with kidney stones. I found it hard to believe as none of my Lhasa's had ever had this problem. Atleast not four generations back. And then I thought, "NO! Not our Kimie!".
Well, we had her tested and taken to a Veterinary specialist who did not give us the success prognosis we wanted to hear. We kept her on antibiotics for a time until she seemed much better. The pain meds allowed her to play, run and enjoy life still, so we waited. I dreaded the day we would have to take her in and put her to sleep so she would no longer be in pain and discomfort. I guess God had other plans. I am thankful that plan was to peacefully bring Kimron home to Him.

Today, is a very sad, sad day for me. Please keep our family in your prayers. Today is not an ordinary day for us here at the Spooner's home. There is much grief and deep sorrow, but for Kimie, lets celebrate! She is home, finally. Running, lying at the feet of Jesus, where we all long to be. And one day, soon, we will meet her there. I am sure, she will then run swiftly to me and jump up to be loved in my arms once again. But until then, her love and peacefulness, her joyful heart and love for us, will be remembered, each and every day.

John 3:16

Conversations With God

I have had many this past week or so. Wondering if He has been listening or even cares. It has been tough, and I have definitely been challenged.

A couple weekends ago, my husband and I went on a four day trip to the coast. It was wonderful. The drive was half the trip as my youngest son, Branden puts it, and boy was it beautiful....and fun. We shot pictures of bridges, the sky, mountains, trees and rivers flowing heavily with fresh rainwater from the north. We traveled in our newer Honda Accord that gave us a most enjoyable and smooth ride around sharp corners and distant highways.

We spent two days relaxing in the quiet beach house of a friend we know, waking to the calming sound of rushing waves splashing against the sun beaten shore. Hearing the sea gulls singing their songs and conversing with one another soaring high in the sky and then anxiously descending just above the waters searching for their own meals. It was wonderful.

We headed south into California along 101 and so enjoyed the views and conversation with one another. Life at home had gotten a bit hectic with members of our family moving back home so my days seemed to be filled with a bit of chaos. The peaceful drive across Highway 299 towards Shasta was as gorgeous as my friend had told me about. I was so happy we had taken this route. The trees were as green as I had ever seen. The mountains were wide and tall and lush with majestic trees and thick brush everywhere. It reminded me of a great big head of broccoli.

The third day we reached Redding, the place we were going to finally visit a highly respected church that even those in Oregon had often heard about. We were excited and decided to find it before services in the morning so we would now when to arrive. It was big and set upon a hill. A stately woman warmly welcomed me in the foyer and informed me of the service times and that there was an auction/dinner going on that very night to help raise funds for the Christian school that operated out of the church. Oh gee, our weakness most definitely. An auction and food to boot. So we said we'd return in an hour or so and that we did.

The auction was fun, food was great and we ended up loading our goods in our car and headed off to find a hotel nearby. We were exhausted and yet excited with great anticipation for our next days events. The trip was almost over and I wanted it to go on for weeks longer. this was the first time my husband and I truly enjoyed our alone time with one another in twenty four years.

That night while turning into bed, we got a phone call from my oldest daughter, saying that one of my pregnant Lhasa Apso mama's was needing to be seen at the vet's office immediately. Cheyanne, my Lhasa mama, was in partial labor and would not proceed to pushing the baby along that she had in her birth canal. An emergency C section was inevitable but she was very sickly and the vet said she would surely die. After hours of bring her vitals up, eight tiny babies emerged from her womb and entered the world for the first time.

They did not come in the usual fashion, kicking and making alot of noise. They were quiet, still and in need of intensive care. Only one was born still born and one other just was not strong enough to survive the first few moments. I called my daughter in the morning and heard the news, but also knew we had to head home early. My oldest daughter and her brother-in-law had been up all night helping the vet and tech stabilize the puppies while my youngest daughter slept in the car. We were needed at home asap and it was still another three hours before we could walk in the door to our house. So with only an hour and a half left before Bethel Church services began. we packed up, and started our anxiety filled trek home.

We listened to a few wonderful Christian CD's by John Eldredge and passed out time in God's word and presence. We prayed and tried to stay in the calm of the storm, atleast until we arrived back home. It seemed the most logical thing to do at the time. We wanted to end our trip as nice as we began it. t seemed so short lived, but we were both so thankful we had this enriching time together. The Lord knew we were going to need it to get through the stress-filled weeks ahead.

Concludes chapter one of several in my new book~
Check back for more soon!

The Strong Will Survive

Today, as I was traveling home from Eugene, Oregon, I noticed several ewes walking along a dirt laden path fenced off beside the highway. Towards the end were a couple of tiny, almost hairless baby lambs running for their lives to catch up to their parents far ahead of them. I noticed the adults were carelessly moving in the direction of the dinner bell I am presuming, yet the lambs seemed to have a mission in mind.It is like they knew they had to keep up or lose out. They were driven by a fierce sense of surviving.
How tiny their legs were yet some of them steamed ahead as if running in a marathon. A couple tragically lagged far behind and would stop once in a while to rest. As I watched the strong steam ahead with careful strides quickly narrowing the vast distance between themselves and their parents, the slackers left behind, seemed to almost give up and confusingly searched wearily for another path to take.
This so clearly reminds me of how only the strong will survive in this world. Be it fighting for our physical lives due to illness or disease, emotionally arguing with our dysfunction and the woundings of our pasts, or wrestling vicariously against the powers of hell itself in the here and now.
The Lord said for us to be strong and of good courage, and not to be afraid, for He is with us, Deut. 31:6. And if He is with us, who could ever be against us? Our strength comes from the Lord on high, and it is His strength which will be sufficient in our times of weakness.
The strong will certainly survive, if we remain grounded in Him, putting Him first above all else Matt. 6:33and trusting only in Him. We cannot lean on our own understanding because God Himself is the only One worthy of our trust. People will fail us and betray us, but God will never leave us or forsake us. What reassuring words we can stand on, and keep standing.
Because the strong lambs wholeheartedly run the race without giving up, victory is theirs because and the unmistakable driving force behind them keeps them moving forward, closer and closer to Jesus.
The strong will survive .... and great shall be their reward in heaven.

He Never Knew Me

I was born to a man who had not chosen me,
And became a source of great joy, you see.
Seldom did I see him, for his work kept him busy.
My mother was my friend so in her I took refuge.

We had our special times of fun that I remember.
Short but special moments brought smiles to my face.
Enough moments to count on one hand were plenty.
I held each one tightly, my heart wasn’t empty. .

Then one day he approached me, sullen and quiet.
A brown bath towel he held in his shaking right hand.
My eyes grew with wonder what was about to be shared.
And out of his mouth came astonishing words of despair.

He left soon thereafter, took all his stuff,
Loaded them into his car, drove away looking tough.
I begged him to stay, and told him I loved him,
Not a difference it made, he never looked back.

To this day I still love him, with all of my heart.
But what had I done or said I often thought.
I was his daughter, his baby, then one day he was gone.
No answer or reason, just like that, what had gone wrong?.

I realize now that he never knew who I was.
If he had, he’d of stayed, no matter the cost.
For the love in my heart could never be taken.
I understand why my world was so heavily shaken.