God's calling in our lives changes often from moment to moment. We know we are in His hands and He won't let anything happen to us that is not in His will. That's why we pray for His will and the necessary preparations that may come with accepting His will if it not be our own. Hearing God's calling in our lives is vital to our very breath.
It has been hard since last summer when my husband and I helped my son and his wife and my two grandbabies, Tahlya 10 and Nathen 12, moved away and out of our lives. I have never felt such a ripping of my flesh before. We had them every weekend and sometimes through the week during the summer months, from the time they were about 6 months old. We were more like a second set of parents to them rather than their grandparents. Our worlds revolved around them as well as those of my own older children. They were all like siblings. God was trying to help us get our priorities right with Him being in the center. Then, this year, my oldest daughter and her husband moved to Corning in northern California, one week ago tomorrow night. Again, my heart feels torn, but God reminds me if I have given Him my heart, it is not my heart that is tearing my life, and He's got it under control for me; I need to let go. Today, my sweet spiritual daughter who our whole family was so convinced was going to be my daughter-in-law to my youngest son now 22, moved to Portland. She came over for my hubby to look her truck over before she drove to Portland and her, my youngest daughter and I walked around the corner from my house yesterday to a garage sale, for the last time. This morning around 10, she left and yet again a piece of m life, is gone........... for good. Right now, I am not sure what God is trying to teach me. Right now, my heart hurts and grieves for the happy times of family altogether. Besides God, family has been everything to me; maybe they weren't always in the right order... I am not sure.
My youngest son is talking about moving to Phoenix with a long time friend he's known since they were about nine years old. Thought Branden was moving over with my husband and me, now, it may not work that way. I am happy for him, but asking God to prepare my heart for yet another hard adjustment in my life. I feel they are coming more often yet there is less of me to hurt each time. Not sure if that is good, or bad. When my husband and I leave in a month or so, we will wave goodbye to my youngest daughter and her husband. My heart feels like it will break and never mend. But as God reminds me, He owns my heart... so that won't happen, but it sure feels like it will.
Today, Pastor Mark Goens, whom I also will miss terribly, spoke about II Corinthians 12. God's grace is sufficient for me. It says so much more, but right now, today, I can only hang onto those 6 words. I think that is what God is calling me to do at this moment in my life.
